In the book of Proverbs we read:
"In the mind, wisdom is like deep water,
which an understanding person can draw forth."- (Proverbs 20:5)
When I meet with people for 1:1s in my congregation, I'm struck by how often many begin by saying something like: "I don't think I really have a story" or "I care about justice, but nothing dramatic has ever happened to me."
In a recent 1:1, the person I was meeting with was certain he had nothing meaningful to share. He described a privileged upbringing and a life that, in his words, had been mostly insulated. But as we talked, he began reflecting on his time in law school in Alabama. He realized he had spent years being the only Jewish person many of his classmates had ever known. Their perceptions of Jews came only from church readings, television, or social media. He had felt like a stranger in a space where he expected more cultural awareness. Once he named this, he began to understand it as a powerful experience that shaped his commitment to justice. It was a story only he could tell, and it motivated him in a new way.
That newly found motivation lit a fire inside him. He offered to host a house meeting and from that one gathering came several others. We now have a second training cohort for house meeting facilitators because one person found their story and stepped forward. His narrative helped spark dozens more and our network continues to grow.
As clergy, the privilege of fostering transformative change is one of the most meaningful things we do. We witness people move from "I don't think I'm really a leader" to "I play a crucial role in what we are building together." We watch relationships deepen across the congregation as people discover that the power we need already exists within us.
Change begins with a simple step: reaching out and asking to have the conversation. I begin with a personal text or email. Something like:
Shalom Judy,
I am currently scheduling one-on-one conversations throughout July with certain members of our congregation who have shown an interest in social justice. These meetings are a chance for you to share your passions, concerns, and hopes for justice work in Pennsylvania, and to deepen personal relationships with other RAC-PA participants from MLRT.
The goals of our conversation are simple:
- Build authentic connection
- Understand what matters most to you
- Identify where our congregation can help you make a real difference
Do you have any time to meet during the first or second week of July? I prefer to meet in person but Zoom is fine if more convenient. Each meeting will be around 30 minutes.
I hope you will join me in helping to strengthen Reform Jewish voices and our overall impact across Pennsylvania.
Many thanks, Rabbi Mollo.
If I don't hear back after a few days, I follow up with a short phone call. A simple message voicemail works well: Something like: "Hi Judy, this is Rabbi Mollo. I'm calling because I would like to meet with you for a one-to-one about your interest in social justice. I know email inboxes get cluttered, so I wanted to reach out over the phone too so we can find 30 minutes in the next week or two to sit down together. Hope to hear back from you soon!"
Offering two or three times makes the process easier. Providing options for meeting in person or on Zoom reduces barriers. During the one-to-one, I begin with an open question such as, "Tell me about an experience that shaped the way you think about justice," or "What concerns or hopes matter most to you right now?" As the conversation unfolds, I ask gentle follow-up questions. Near the end of the conversation, I reflect back what I heard and name the strength or insight that emerged. This helps people see their own power and how their experiences connect to our shared work.
The purpose of a one-to-one is to uncover the story a person already carries and to help draw out the feeling of purpose that might not have emerged without the invitation. When we reach out, follow up, and listen actively and curiously, we make space for people to discover the deep well of wisdom within themselves and within our community.
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